i need help
can we have an open session again?

yay my kari ikan is coming!!! heehehe
omg asyik pikir mkn je ni
study group pun mkn
sblum g study group pun mkn
time tido je tokle mkn
haaih gemuk jugak la camni kakaka

tp dh lame out of kari ikan nya stock so rindu la :D

avatar was brilliant!
well in terms of the plot it wasnt that complicated
but i enjoy it as this might be the only several movies
with the ending that i like haha
n yeah love the colourful world they have in that pandora
even the people are made purple in colour

oh havent fnished uploading the photos from munich/salzburg
so many to pick from
bcos my laptop is old n couldnt use the easier way of uploading photos
the one with the java application
if i tried it'll take 30min for 20 photos
to try to upload
n i dont have to wait to see, in the end it'll say
failure to upload
so might as well use the old version of uploading

u know everyone is talking about kawen!!!
why?!?!?!?!??!!!!!
can we just finish off this med school n not think about it 1st?
i wish im one of the lucky ones toooooooo haha
blerggh ape2 la
ye someone told me
takpe tunggu je
kakaka ok fine aku tunggu je la
hopefully by the end of the med school someone will come
n propose haha
ok tk nk merepek dah :p

i have lotssssssss to write in here
tp my fingers r growing numbbbbbb
n i forgot where i threw my fingerless gloves
-at least some part of the fingers r still protected from this coldness
speaking of that-galway is freezing
the frost is everywhere!!!
n today the sun wasnt that much of a help
it's there but the warmth couldnt b felt at all
our backyard is still frozen even when now is 2.38 pm already
how r we suppose to go to letterkenny in january?!?!
i can imagine how cold it would b
n what's gonna happen with our plan for giant causeway???
urgh i've been here nearly 6 yrs n havent set foot there
pls dont b so freezing cold nnt!

oh btw im still waiting for jawe to upload gamba2 kawen kakaknya
manenya ni????

ok ade lagu best baru ;) hehe



rossa ni skali tgk cam siti pun ade
tk ke??

i admit
i am a bit impatient ;)
:D

oh safe trip everyone!!!

n c U in a week time :)

sye rindu kah?????
come talk to me pls..... :(

urgh ade org bgtau @ remind me
of 'no such thing as hati baik but pakaian tk baik/seksi sket'
nk tergelak pun ade
sbb truthfully she was talking about someone else
unfortunately terkena batang hidung lak haha
anyway mmg ade blaja dlu2
ape maksudnya menutup aurat
u know kain tk nmpk kaler kulit
n tutup area mane2 tu n longgar sket,
tp somehow those few lessons r
fading-maybe a bit fast from my brain
bagus la for u to remind me-tp i know u dont read my blog
so u wont know im saying thanks for u here haha
ye i'll try to b perfect in ur eyes k ;)

omg hari ni i dont know why
tp penat nya!!!
during the last tutorial-i was standing against the door
trying to rest my back
been standing since morning in the ward round, the clinic
then the theatre+hx pre-op jugak
met ayesha when the theatre was done
n decided to follow her for the ortho tutorial
usually i'll get a signal from my grumbling tummy that i need to sit down
at least for a snack b4 continue with anything else later in the day
tp hari ni perut tk bunyik pulak haha
oh they used leeches today!!!for haematoma dlm flap!
1 leech = 5 euro! but they killed them afterwards by pouring some alcohol, poor thing

today my dr in the team
spoke

spanish
french un petite peu
n earlier in the week
he spoke gaelic!!!!

so he knew at least 4 languages!

hehe dah tgk 500 days of summer
at the end that guy met another girl
but this time her name is autumn hahahah
oh it'll b good if someone can come n SERIUOSLY say
i want to marry u
tp that someone mesti la has a good background
n yeah dont think people wont go n check up on u
if u gave some reference
reverse psychology might not work here
people just might do what u said ok ;p

omg i just realised my number of entries has slopped down compared to years back!
anyway this is a way to naik kan a bit hahahha

oh that's not the main point for this entry
true blood=yes i tried several times to watch it in astro at home
but the kids were getting in the way
so i ended with either changing the channel when they were watching along
or shooed them away
ye la there were scenes which are not appropriate for their age
anyhow, farah n rafiq have the buku crite
but i still want my vampire to remain as what anne rice describe
im not yet ready to put shape shifter in the same story
well though lestat met several weird creatures or went to hell or other weird places
but yes i want them to remain as what the movie interview with the vampire portrayed them as, maybe when im trully done with the chronicles that i'll start looking for different version of vampire ;)

regarding my last entry
it's true we cant control our feelings but
people differ in a way that some may b able to let go quickly n some just get stuck thinking of the same thing all the time
should i say im fortunate@unfortunate, that im the former??? haha
so yes i'll let go when i want to n yes i wont turn back
saye rase as if i dont have attachment to someone/thing hmmm

susah jugak bile senang kecik hati...
tp, hati bukannya boleh di control2...
mungkin, avoidance is the best

ok now this is really going on n on in my head



finally got my case!!
the reg went looking for us in the ct room this after noon
bcos he wont b here tomorrow
he went through the history n also the most important part of all
the ct/us/xray etc baik btul hehe :D

oh my attachment is a mess la
asl la bk sgt benda nya ni.................

usually ade someone yg we can always turn around n talk to
bcos of the closeness we tend to have stronger
feeling to whatever their reactions r towards smthg
concerning us@maybe everything
but we r not mind readers so we cannot tell what they r thinking or feeling n im afraid there will always b a guilty feeling when they didnt respond as what
we expect they would to smthg we did/ask/tell them etc
the hardest thing is actually when it happened n we didnt say anything @they didnt tell us anything
but the silent hurts

dejected

i've been home close to two weeks now
with no one else other than my mum who can drive
i've to finally put into usage my driving license n my
long forgotten driving lessons
so my day starts as early as those school kids
i have to send my little sister to her school which is just
a few minutes from our house
n if my mum is a bit late for the day, i'll have to send
the other two sisters of mine to their school as well
then i have to drive back home to pick up dayana n
send her to her driving class
haha i actually finding myself enjoying driving
n my mum doesnt care if i want to drive her vios
instead of my dad's sentra even though i just
mustered my courage to finally drive on the second day i arrived home
i actually never drive b4 other than during the actual driving classes keke
n its actually a wonder my mum even told me to use her car if i so wanted to
n guess what she said ok when i jokingly said i want
to drive in ireland if i ever got the chance to ;)

i wish i could go roaming all the secondhand bookshops n
buy all the mayfair witches books by anne rice right this moment!!!
the witching hour left me craving for more
i want to know what happen with the newborn lasher
n what exactly is taltos
sometimes the story gets entwined with vampire chronicles which makes
the more reason for me to read all the rest of the vampire chronicle
there's still several books from the vampire chronicle which i
couldnt get my hands on them bcos it's kinda hard to get them here
n i dont think i ever found them if not in secondhand bookshops
gah if only i have time for that
the truth is the books were there in front of me all the time
covered by dust in most of the time, on the shelves in my room
i bought them when i came across anne rice whenever i visited the secondhand
bookshop but time is the only thing which is not quite enough i would say
for us medical students-or maybe me bcos i cant read (buku crite only hehe) without
forgetting the rest of the world
guess what happened the other day?
i heard knocking on the front door several times past few days
but i was reading the witching our at that time
n yes the story is about the mayfair witches with their spirits
the knocking wasnt that loud n maybe the rain n wind were playing some part as well
so it wasnt loud enough for me to believe someone is at the door
the knocking occured for several days n i kept thinking
maybe im imagining things so i let it be
but on the weekend i was sleeping n was startled awake by the noise
i was startled which means i wasnt thinking straight n just ran down the stairs
directly to the front door
n there stood my senior an intern all smiling bcos
at last!! someone open the door for her hahaha
n me the sleepyhead was told it was her n not my imagination that's being
pounding the front door - that's what it took for me to hear her finally

haha terase lawak pulak
but anyway iqbal's here in galway
im currently using his old laptop
bcos mine is out of battery n the charger is not working bcos
the wire finally snapped putus n i couldnt do anything to sambungkn balik
n just too lazy to get out of my cozy room to buy another one
so im buying that charger in msia la nampaknya :)
i havent pack
dont think i'll b bringing much with me anyway ;)

the 1st photo is the bottom one so the 1st on the list is actually the last photo ok
shouldnt b explaining that but i dont have anything to say pun so yes y not

one of our friends put out her wedding invitation card on the fb
the date is on 2nd of august
i've never been to any of my friends' wedding
my place is just too far from everyone else
n even if i took a flight over
the airport is still like 2 or more hours from my house
it might be easier when my dad is still around
bcos he always available to drive us anywhere we want
but seems everything is different now
the only person who can pick us up from the airport is my mum
n she's working till after 3 at least
it's very rare to see her at the house before 3
sometimes i thought maybe i should just take kereta sewa to go back home
but honestly i dont have enough trust in me on them
n not to mention i dont even know the way they drive
i might die of heart atck b4 i reach home who knows haha
so i guess i wont b able to go this one either

kawan2 semua,

SYE SUDAH BELI TIKET!!!!!!!!! :D

finally beli jugak
setelah pening kepala beberape hari hehe
but anyway its on 29th of july from shannon
but will have to take the earliest bus from
galway station around 3 in the morning

n thank you aman! = card dia :D

im stuffing myself with 2 large sizzler pizzas this weekend
was planning to go out during the day n find some stuff for
cooking but it turned out raining

i was blog-hopping this week :D
n yes found some interesting blogs acting as online shops
the items seem pretty goods-in photos
but they got good reviews too so maybe they really are good
but anyhow i couldnt stop wondering how/where they get their hands on the goods
my sister went to bandung n just arrived home yesterday
she brought back several pieces of kebaya with embroidery
from the description they are quite similar to those i saw online
n the price are pretty much the same-well can only b applied to several blogs though
so yes b careful if u want to buy stuff online ye :)

i came across a blog selling baju kurung/kebaya etc
but the price is a little off
i know how much it cost for like thai silk-they came from thai
so a little cheaper i guess or is it because my place
is close to the border that i get them cheaper??
anyway, the price look ridicilously
high for that type of kain-mind u they can b thrown
into a washing machine to make life easier for u
but maybe they are charging for their skills in making the kain into a baju kot

i believe i've committed a crime today
thus i have to study tomorrow!! hahahah

i no longer have the drive to attend any tutorial, wr, or anything else related to hospital!!!!
gah i wanna go home or maybe just away from galway for a little while
sometimes it feels like i'm all drained n exhausted
summer is tooooo hot when u r in the clinic or running around in the wards
n it's hard n frustrating when u cant say that to real people
without getting mock-yes then why r u here doing attachment? that sort of words u know

rasenya ayat2 biase pun bley buat org kecik hati
kalo sket2 tkpe la maybe sye tk kisah
tp kalo byk kali
then maybe bley meletup n lari je dr kamu, mau ke??
ke itu point nya?hmmm

hari ni rase pnjg nyaaaaa
apsal tk mlm2 lg ni???
penat dh tgk matahari sinar2 tu
nasib baik clinic sampai tgh hari je
kalo tk mau pengsan dlm clinic yg panas tu

oh kitaorg bli tiket ke paris 12/6 ni hehe
haaih pandai btul, mesti hangus ble balik dr paris tu nnt
rase nya ni kali ketiga g sane
tkpe la skali skala manje kn diri kekeke
n yes someone reminded me that
i didnt get anything for myself on my birthday
so bley la ni as a gift for myself :D
nnt pg with aman, qama, rafiq, intan n farah
hopefully the weather will stay as bright as this
ye la then baru puas jln2
tp sye mau tgk eiffel time mlm jugak
n now mlm start around kul 10 hmmmm

ye kami pegi dock lg for the second time hehe
why???
sbb these prawnies were calling us haha

take a look at the size of prawnies ni
BESAR!! n sedap, really :D
i wasnt really interested in eating those at first
but once i took a bite, tok le berenti lak
nasib baik line tuk bli tu pnjg
kalo tak maybe kami bli lg :)

we went to our classmates' bbq lps tu
not all people were invited though
n just b4 we reached the house
we bumped into one of those yg tk dijemput

tp dsbbkn we didnt know at that time yg only certain people were invited
like usual, we said hi n tanye mane umah bbq tu
her face changed!n demanded to know whose bbq we were referring
we knew it then-dia tk tau rupenya
feel like lari je dr situ hahha
semua pun cam dh glabah sket-ape nk jawab nih hahah

n yes all the meat were not halal so we made a 2nd trip to town
to charcoal lak :D
ye cuti is for mkn + jln2 + shopping + tido
but unfortunately it's too hot to b sleeping in this summer :(
sye mau kipas angin!!! :(

i got a text msg from mummy pg td
wish happy birthday
tp silap ari plak
mummy lupe ingtkn dh 27/05 kt sini
tp dia kate tkpe la dia jd org first wish
though silap hari haha

hari ni seperti slalu, hujan
Volvo race dlm hujan la maksudnya haha
tk tau volvo race??
sile google sdiri :p

skarang sudah lapar grgrgrg
tp dapur rase cam jauh sgt sgt
coco pops hampir habis
ayam lupe lak nk kuarkn pg ni
mkn ayam kashmir ptg ni saje la :D
tp lambatnya nk pukul 730
rase macam puase pulak heh

called mummy
katenya semua kna ade tuk tnh/whatever nya urusan
hmm but i wont b there till at least august
harap2 bley kasi duit je dkt kakak itu
umah mesti sepi saje pagi2
slalunya abah ade kejut kn semua org yg tk pegi skolah heh
skarang pg2 mesti tkde nasi bungkus or kuih2 atas meja dh
mummy ckp
ptg2 mesti burung2 yg abah used to bela pulang
mkn2/main2 dpn laman umah
cari tuannya agaknya
sian burung2 tu
kucing2 pun mesti tkde org kasi mknn
kesian diaorg

nabilah dh sampai india
dh jumpe si zola (tk tau eja)
tp budak tu buat bodo je katenya
nk aja cari dlm friendster mane satu si zola tu
tkpe la people can do/say whatever they want
cume baik tidak je
tp susah jugak kalo diaorg salah interpret mane baik mane salah haha

farah yg hampir jatuh ke dlm air sungai

oops ade doggy berenang
now that reminds me-when did i celup tgn dlm air itu?
selepas anjing itu lalu ke sebelum??mmmm

sasaran si doggy = swan
tp swan tu mengelak sket so tk kna tangkap hehe

text or msgs
we tend to read with emotion r we not?
am i the only weird person to put emotion in those words?
i'll usually imagine how the person
was like when she/he sends me text/msg

wouldnt it b nice if the sun is out shining n we have our cup ice cream with us?
maybe tomorrow will b better?or not? :p

abah passed away on 3rd of may at 3 pm
but thank God everything went smoothly
here n at home
mum was so sad as does all of us
my sister in india took a flight on monday morning
i wish i could do the same thing but
i couldnt change anything
it was hard at first to digest the news
but when i rethink
mum was by his side for the whole week
accompanying him
she was practically staying in the same ward
taking care of him till the last moment
telling him to say Allah n all,
he did not suffer for a long time
n we talked to him on phone almost every
day when he was in the hosp,
looking back at his life i believe
he did what he needed to do
his life was pretty much completed
seeing us all grown up with
my sister giving him a couple of grandchildren,
retiring from his work as a teacher
gave him more time for himself n the family,
these past few years
he was able to go to masjid or staying up late for tahlil at other people's house
im very much proud that he's like that
i remembered he'll bring home some kuih from the majlis he joined
his tahlil/quran group 'll probably missed him too
as we do now
but the time has come for us to let him go
n yes the only thing we can do is to remember him in our prayers n bacakn yaasin for him
n thank you everyone for all the things u've helped us with :)

urgh we have to re-sit paeds slide!
the paeds-photos book in the library is no longer there
waa sape la yg gatal mulut pg bgtau deprtmnt nih?!?!

the result is out!!
10 to 12 in the afternoon!!!ggrgrgr
but Alhamdulillah :D hehe

i had my books opened n ready to b read but all i could think of
is my paeds osce, so now bley concentrate :D well hopefully la kn
i need to call my mum 1st ;)

my dad is in the hospital for an operation
instead of today-it's been postponed to tomorrow
mum sounds a bit worried initially while i was on phone with her
but she's alright now i think
it's not that big of an operation
but it is for him n my mother
i can sense the doubt in his voice n i knew
he would opt for not going through with it if not for my mother
hehe
today-he saw some of the med students in the hospital
he said one of them look like me
n the night b4 that he asked me again
if im really not going back for summer
i told him no
but listening to him n my mother
maybe i should go home instead of staying

1-what happen if u reject someone's friend request on fb?
do they get a notice after that?u know smtms it's a wonder
why people still add those whom they've thrown some
hurtful words some times ago
they were oh so superior b4 that they think they can say
whatever came to their mind n being an ignorant to others feeling
damn i so wanted to just ignore ur request
but i dont have the heart to
though i know even if i approved, it'll still
b pointless bcos they wont even give u a testi saying hello or smthg
what's the point of wanting to b in the friend's list then???

2-i hate my fb now that it's flooded with people's
stories that r totally unrelated to me,n yes the gedikness included
omg sakit mate!!pls act a little bit normal!
gah maybe i'll do some spring cleaning hahah

i had a weird dream this morning
i dreamed of a baby-my baby!
hahaha
i woke up startled n a bit confused
why a baby of all things/human being?
n when im done with paeds too hmmm

the syndrome in my previous post is called
anhydrotic ectodermal dysplasia-it's affecting the ectoderm
so in that child case, he's definitely hairless,
the skin is somewhat pale and thin
and the other thing is he cant control his temperature
n guess what they suggest??
try living in the cold country!
they might go developing seizure and end up with brain damage
if the temperature is too high
they dont have the normal temperature regulator as we do
because they dont sweat so yes no way of reducing the temperature
and they are prone to infection so explained the many
many tablet he's on

i saw another new rare syndrome this week
the child has rubinstein-taybi syndrome
most of the cases were diagnosed by the broad thumbs/great toes
as the facies are not obvious when they are still young
the disorder is due to the deletion of 16p13.3
her face show the features of the syndrome
like beaked nose,
ptosis, small maxilla, microcephaly,
small mouth with crowded irregular teeth, high palate, n
short upper lip
the great toes and the thumbs have some deviation as well
she has a delayed in speech
but she seems friendly enough to let us come near her
and played with us hehe

i didnt go in with dr.G this time so i probably missed
other interesting patients she has

i need to finish my case now ;)

i wanted to write about what happened in sligo
but one of the things include the unavailability of internet connection
at my bnb so yeah i couldnt go online
the modem was in faulty condition-u can see
from the look of it really
but somehow the bnb's makcik asked someone
to come n fix it-well he did but the internet was not that good
so i have to suffice with only browsing the very few pages that i really need to go to
before the connection disconnected or the signal became very weak
i know it'll b better if i just go down the stairs n just plugged it off for a few minutes but i was too lazy haha

i have an early start every morning-8.30 mostly everyday n the bnb is half an hour away from the general hospital on foot, my paeds ward is on level 7 so i normally take the lift
instead of the stairs :D
the clinics are on mostly everyday
the ward round is twice everyday
the scbu is quite small compare to galway
but there is this one baby with pneumothorax
he's a big baby with diabetic mother
but the insertion of drainage tube was a wow bcos i've never seen one b4 hehe
most of the babies there bcos of diabetic mother
pneumothorax baby is the only one in incubator
the rest are all quite well in their cribs

one pt who came to the clinic
had this very pale thin skin-like an albino
with no hair
i could see blood vessels on his head
very clearly like those of osteogenesis imperfecta
he had three fangs-like tooth at the age of three
the tongue was a bit long
n he's on several medications
later the consultant told me he has...........
i forgot-will post it later haha

i'll b going for my away attacment-in sligo again
for the next two weeks
am hoping for the good weather
n not icy cold-n yes no rain pls
as if that's possible haha

anyway we had an outing last night
the ikan was SEDAPPP as in malaysia hehe
that scallops was a little weird though
i dont really like the taste-or rather
i couldnt recall what the taste was like?!
i would say-if you want to eat fish then go to tamarind
thai garden is as the name is = tom yam/tom ka goong(tk reti eja)
indian food is best in kashmir
trattoria is when u feel like eating italian food :D

my bus is at 8 tonight
gah im so not in the mood to pack my bag!! :(

i snapped at someone on friday
i was very much annoyed with mostly everyone
i had a presentation in the morning
of which i only got the case
on wednesday night
left me with only a day to prepare

i was soooo annoyed
bcos seems like everyone want to b oncall
why the hell do they have to b on ward
when they r not suppose to
n when they not even presenting on the next day
or even in the week
it's alright if they were there to check on
their patients' chart for any progress
but when they asked the nurses for history-after 6 i mean
that's when they've taken other people's
right bcos of the soo many people want to
take history after 6 that wednesday
the nurses were reluctant to allow any more
i.e the people who were on the on call list to do our work
which is FINDING THE CASE FOR PRESENTATION!!
i was frustrated my head was throbbing
n the light was unbareable for my eyes
i had to go home n sleep
b4 i went to a&e with sarinah
thank god there were several pt there
i got the case from there
n my headache stopped heh :D

but anyway i'm done with case presentation
so i wont b banging my head on the wall
bcos i couldnt find one anymore hahaha
i must admit i became a meanie when
im annoyed or tired
n yes dont come near me when im not smiling
i might just lash it out at u :p

mc-mong=i feel crazy ;)

good or bad,
dying or running away,
only choose one from each two,
listen closely n remember this,
until i die i'll only choose u

does it happen in normal life???
flattering isnt it? ;p

the girls r having ladies night at the small lect theater csi
but the two of us just couldnt stay any longer than 20???minutes
my head was throbbing felt like it was going to burst
n my eyes felt strained : ( ughh
im sure intan was feeling worse since she was the one with
osce in the morning
n yes i had svrl doses of caffeine today
n right b4 we went to the csi as well
we tried mr.waffle at town
i was starving but couldnt finished the waffle
bcos it's toooo sweeeeet!but they all did??!weird
mmm-whose threshold level is higher now??:p
n qama had to remind me about the
all-4-siblings-dr-so-no-one-'ll-come-near-me?!grgrgr
so far no one ever pointed that out
but unconciously i tried not to tell new people
im meeting for the 1st time that most of my siblings r
doing medicine bcos yes im afraid they'll
run away after hearing that haha silly me
well mostly did anyway gah

oh this one kid pt hugged me at the pre-school i visited
he probably can sense who needs a hug for that dy haha
he's sooo cute! :D

i started my child psych today
hehe it was a dy full with mischievous kids
one had the urge to go back home
bcos he wants to quickly finish his project
of making a giant slingshot
at the end of the session his mum asked him what
he's gonna do with that thing n he replied
with a grin-his baby brother hahaha
but one thing i realize
most of the cases involve family members
the consultant seems to b very familiar with certain
family names, she could recall treating other members of
the family etc, she's a very pleasant lady :D
oh n i got my 3rd case!!! :)

today the kids mostly have AD/HD
but i only saw two kids who showed their ADHD
symptoms n that was during the bp/wt/ht measuring
i.e when the consultant, their mummy weren't around
they bcame quite aggressive
jumping around from one thing to another
that attracted them (hyperactivity),
they couldnt concentrate (inattention),
n yes it could b very dangerous with
a baby in the house n not to mention
to themselves,one of the core symptoms is impulsivity
of which they act on impulse ; )

i found this last night :D